T
HE HEALING POWER OF HUMOR
Why is it that some people
solve their problems and others collapse under the weight of those problems?
According to C.W. Metcalfe and Roma Felible in their book, Lighten Up,
it’s probably because one had a sense of humor and the other took themselves
too seriously.
Metcalfe and Felible say by mastering the following skills, we can find more fluidity, creativity and flexibility in our lives:
The First Humor Skill: The ability to see the absurdity in difficult situations.
The Second Humor Skill: The ability to take yourself lightly while taking your work seriously.
The Third Humor Skill: A disciplined sense of joy in being alive.
This may sound simple, but it actually takes practice. It took Metcalfe half of his life, but let’s talk about some ways to develop these skills a little more quickly.
The first humor skill - the ability to see the absurdity in difficult situations. The key tool is to remember you are not the center of the universe, seated at the helm of the Enterprise, Captain Kirk. You do not have to kill the Klingons and get the girl after every episode, metaphorically speaking. What a relief, huh? It is not your job to direct everything that happens to you, nor are you responsible for everything that happens in the world. There are few things that are just not under your control. Here are three ways you can tell if you are feeling you are the center of the universe: NOTHING IS EVER YOUR FAULT or EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS YOUR FAULT or ANY COMBINATION OF THE TWO.
A few ways to escape from the center of the universe and learn to see the absurdity in adversity: collect cartoons lampooning serious subjects; collect humor perspectives in videos, audios, magazines, newspapers, letters from friends, posters, biographies.
The second humor skill - the ability to take yourself lightly and your work seriously. An effective tool is to learn to focus on positive--what you have rather than what you don’t have, and what works rather than what does not work. The author calls this plus-conversation. Did you have a bad day today. Rather than focus on what was bad about it, why not focus on what was good about it. It is so easy for us to dwell on the negative. Remember that negative thoughts breed negative emotions. Believe it or not folks, we ARE in the driver’s seat of our emotions. Yes, if there are problems with work systems, functions, products, they do have to be fixed. However, when you focus on the positive, on what’s working, it allows one to tackle the problem from a position of strength and you are far more likely to be more creative and hopeful in finding a resolution.
The third humor skill - a disciplined sense of joy in being alive. The key tool is to seek optimism and joy, both of which can be found in direct action. The following is a list of activities that might help you find and experience the joy of living: volunteering to help the needy or sick; reflecting on values and beliefs; rather than focus on what you don’t have, focus on how you can become a better person; cut off the TV and go for a walk on the beach or around the block; make a list of things that make you smile, laugh or just feel good. You’ll be surprised to see your list grow as you become accustomed to writing these things down. You’ll find that you’ll spend far less time complaining about things that make you feel bad.
"Emotional responses are like frequencies on a radio dial; if you turn the volume down on one station, you turn it down on all the others at the same time. If you’re going to develop joy, laughter, and humor, you will open yourself up to feeling the pain, loss, and sadness of the world, too. Or you can opt to turn the volume down and never hear the music at all."
For more information on this topic or to schedule an appointment, contact the Civilian Employee Assistance Program Counseling and Referral Service (CEAP C/RS) on (202) 433-0087 or outside the local dialing area you may use 1-800-995-9791.